Gratitude : The 2016 Wrap up

Nashukuru Mungu huu mwaka umeisha

Ilikua ngumu lakini hata mapepo njia walinipisha 

Maadaui waliwasha kiberiti ndio wanichomee picha 

But I’m positive I always see a half full pitcher

So life ilikua tu tamu tena sana 

Nimebaki church nikiimba tu hosanna

To give thanks and praise to the most high 

For the blessings  and challenges without asking why

Ju ananijali so haeziniacha na shida siwezani

Sijawaikosa kitu,always kuna food mezani

I don’t need weed to get high ju ananiinua

From one glory to another and his mercies are always newer

Every morning 24/7 365 bila fail

Hakuna day nimegonjeka nikawa frail

Of course nimego off-course but amenirudisha kwa the trail

Amenisamehe dhambi akanifanya the head not the tail

My life he has sustained all year long plus tangu

Aniandalie meza mbele ya wale watesi wangu 

Wameshindwa waseme nini kunihusu 

Especially ule Judas alini-betray na busu

I went from walking through the valley of the shadow of death

To walking through the valley of the shadow of wealth

Hata ninjas can’t touch me with their level of stealth

Maombi zimejibiwa zote utadhani zilikua maswali

My spirit has always been rising(rice-ing) utadhani wali

Mi na Andy mburu tunafaa kutoa remix ya ananijali

Vile tu naskia kutoa shukrani ju ya the way amenipenda

Alisema atakuwa na mimi na hajawainitenda

 the beginner and ender of all things pia ni airbender

Ame-calm the storms in my life ju kwake nime-surrender

Sa ni mbinguni tu ndio nategea kuenda

Na kuingia 2017 with a customized kalenda

Of events Ju for my life already God has set the agenda

Copyright ©paulzay 2016

Loose ends

We were a perfect match me and you

Maybe that’

s why we burned out so fast

Thought we’d be stuck together like glue

Instead we lost sight of the first

Love that we had for each other

And let it become more of a bother

It is alarming how quickly we both ceased 

To care for each other as we were both seized

By life’s hustle and bustle 

And robbed our relationship of the muscle

Or rather the tendons that held us together 

Slowly the vultures started to gather

When they saw our impending death

They waited eagerly with bated breath

Because although We definitely were a perfect fit

Like the size 6 tommys for your little feet

What we had was merely a skeleton, no meat

Unfortunately neither of us saw the need to meet 

The other half way and fill the the chasm

That got larger with each violent spasm

Of our dying hearts. Now I’m preparing our eulogy

We’ve done this twice already,now it’s a trilogy

Whoever said love makes the world go round

Should know our earth stopped spinning and the ground

Is where we’re at  cz we fell from cloud nine

Drunk in love no more,now it is cheap wine

To drown away  our sorrows and misery

That loves our company but why so remains a mystery

Does the fact that it hurts mean we still care

or do the tears on our pillows say we shouldn’t dare 

Try again. though we glittered,turns out we weren’t gold

But had we known that ,would we have been bold

Enough to jump into uncharted waters 

With sharks nipping at our hind quarters?

It is better to have loved and lost

Than not to have loved at all like most

People. Loving is expensive and we paid the cost

By sacrificing our friendship just to be more

Than friends. Here we are,eyes red,puffy and sore

From weeping all night as if we were mourning.

Pain lasts the night but joy comes in the morning.

It was good while it lasted, We had a good run

But it’s time to say goodbye,time to end the fun

Though you Won’t always be my baby, Mariah Carey 

Just know that my heart you will always carry.

Copyright ©paulzay 2016

soul gazing

I heard that the eyes were the window to the soul

So I grabbed a chair and held her hand in mine and I looked

Into her windows like a peeping Tom 

As I tried to understand a beautiful being that I couldn’t fathom

Her eyes were magnificent like the stained glass at the cathedral

Her eyes hid a million mysteries behind the veil of her cathedral

As I stared into her bottomless eyes I felt like I was falling

I may be crazy but my name her soul was calling

Her eyes had their own gravity and I was drawn in

And  transfixed , a captive of her mighty force

We didn’t say anything,we didn’t need to

In the silence our hearts talked in their own language

Things that the brain couldn’t make the mouth say,

The fingers couldn’t write and the ears couldn’t hear

What was being shared.the depth of the moment

Could not be documented but the silent communication

Caused ripples that turned into mighty waves of overwhelming emotion

That couldn’t be contained in our hearts but poured out relentlessly,

Eager to be embraced by the other. Love was in the water

And I didn’t have enough air in my lungs to hold my breath

So I drowned in her love. It flowed into every crevice in my soul

And drenched me through and through I was soaking wet

With her love. Oh it was a beautiful death and I wanted to die a thousand 

Times in the same manner. With our fingers intertwined ,

Staring into her eyes and losing myself in its vastness

Her eyes were the holy grail into which my soul poured into

Her eyes made me sing hallelujah

And soar above the mountains like an eagle

Her eyes were the first thing I looked for when I entered a room

When we locked eyes,a piece of the puzzle fell in place

The bigger picture became clearer than day

As we gazed into each other’s soul

We couldn’t draw apart even if we wanted to

The magical zing electrified the air around us

Charging it up with energy from the universe

That conspired to bring us together in that very moment

Time stood still, the earth’s plates stopped shifting for a moment

 The strings of fate and destiny paused weaving our future for a moment

Because at that very moment,everything was perfect

All was right with world for that small moment

The heavens opened up and bathed us with its glorious light

And we saw ,we saw infinity .we saw the Weaver’s hands 

Our faces radiated  as we  achieved the perfect state of nirvana

Copyright ©paulzay 2016

Who hurt you?

Who hurt you?

Made your shoulders droop when you walk

Made your voice lack life whenever you talk

Who made you promises of being husband and wife

And left you broken and alone at the altar holding on for dear life

Who said that they’d love you forever and always

But they lied and went back to their cheating ways

Who made you sigh deeply with intense regret and dread

When you look back and remember how they threw you out like stale bread

Who made you feel like you’re suffocating

Because air couldn’t get into your lungs fast enough when you’re hyperventilating

Who killed your spirit and made your face drop

Whose face do you not want to see when a photo you crop

Who flooded your pillow with an ocean of tears

Who undid the love that building up took years

Who knowingly violated your sacred trust

Yet acted like forgiving them is a must

Who makes you listen to heartbreak songs 

And relate to every lyric stating all the wrongs

That were done to you.

Who hurt you?

Who took your heart and tore it to pieces

Treated you like you were a pile of feaces 

Who fed you a fat buffet of lies

That the limit wasn’t beyond the open skies

Who promised you butterflies and rainbows

But only brought you rain and bows

Firing arrows at your heart

Who filled your mouth with bitterness

And stripped you of your badge of tenderness

Who taught you to say love isn’t real

That it is really not that big of a deal

Who told you that being in love is a wild fantasy

That only fools believe in such fallacy 

Who made you vow to never love again

Because the joy it should bring doesn’t outweigh the pain

Who made you have to take sedatives to help you 


As the memories kill you and always keep 

You up when they hit you at 2 a.m

Who turned your life to a living mayhem

Who said they’d be your hero but was the villain

Chocking your affectation with no refrain

Who hurt you?

Tell me,who hurt you?