Self-destruct

I’ve been asked why I  write about love and its matters

Yet I am still a viable bachelor and that’s all that matters

If I’m the hero of my own story why can’t I get the girl?

My poems have ‘lines’ and all I have to do is aim and hurl

Them at my desired target and let the chips fall where they will

It may be harder than pushing a boulder up the hill

But I’ve been in love a dozen times over

And that always ends when the night is over

And my face is in my hands,more regret than shame

Wall of shame for me,for the girl only a walk of shame

Maybe to me it’s all the same,

Ping-pong, chess,love,it’s all a game

So I play peekaboo with her delicate feelings

Knowing she will hate me once she sees the beginnings

Of the end

She will become a lion that I can’t fend

Off 

So I scoff

this is not love,this is suicide

This is a poison killing me on the inside

And I’m not even Juliet, I’m Romeo

But then again like him I die by my own sword

Premature trip to go see my lord
Will God forgive me for all the hearts I’ve broken

will I forgive him for making me soft spoken

Sins of the past racing at me trying to catch up

The wrongs I’ve done are a tear I can’t patch up

They say God collects the tears of women and in that I’m a believer

I know I’m going to drown for the women I made cry me a river

The wrath I’ve attracted is doing push ups waiting for me

Self destruct,because it is I who brought it upon me

©Paul Zay 2017

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